THE ROLLING MAUL
Stephen Jones debates the biggest issues in rugby union in his weekly e-mail
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Wednesday, December 10, 2008. 1800GMT
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Speak louder to foreigners!
If I were a French rugby club I would seriously consider whether it is worth contesting the rest of the Heineken Cup. The odds are so stacked against them that the concept of fair play has been lost.
One old Harlequins grandee took me to task yesterday for saying that Harlequins were outrageously fortunate to be awarded at least half the points of their famous win over Stade Francais in Paris last weekend. I had to gently point out that if I were Quins, and the beneficiary of such largesse, I'd stop complaining about the messenger and take the win and move on.
But for goodness sake, don't let anyone tell you that Stade Francais were not crucified by officialdom, because they were. Or that both Biarritz, who lost to Cardiff, and Perpignan, who lost at Leicester, had anything but the worst of the refereeing, and a total lack of what they were due from officials in this so-called professional sport. French rugby is always stuffed by refereeing. It is one of the first laws of the sport. Sad, but true.
The second Quins try was a farce. There may, or may not, have been an early tackle on a Stade player just feet from the Harlequins line but the loose ball broke to Mike Brown who, from a position a few metres behind his own line, hoofed the ball way down the touchline.
Two Harlequins, standing around 12-15 metres offside in front of the kicker, started following up, including Jordan Turner-Hall, the scorer. The jolly old touch-judge, who was almost directly alongside, not only never bothered to tell the ref that something was badly wrong, he actually trolled off down the other end too.
It then got even more mystifying. Djibril Camara of Stade was about to seize a loose ball near half way when one of the Quins forwards wiped him out in the season's most blatant early tackle. Turner Hall then ran on with the loose ball to score.
Amongst a welter of further controversies, referee Alan Lewis allowed play to proceed leading to a later and critical Quins penalty and three points, after the ball shot out of the side of a Stade attacking scrum. That scrum should have been called back.
Then in the closing stages, Lewis ignored what I consider to be, after a reviewing of every angle confirmed my initial live impression, the most blatant sin-binning act in the history of the sin-bin. Jim Evans of Quins halted a move which was within inches of the Quins line, with a horrific offside kill. He stayed on.
The actual errors were less garish in the Biarritz and Perpignan games, but what grated terribly to me was the disadvantage that the two France sides operated under. These days, preventative refereeing is all the rage. Referees and refereeing bosses set mighty store by endless communicating with players so that they know exactly what referees are asking.
At least, they know if they speak English. George Clancy at Cardiff and Nigel Owens at Leicester, as far as I can glean from the playbacks and the refereeing soundtrack, would not even make a re-make of that shocking "comedy" 'Allo 'Allo. Owens in particularly merely squawked at Perpignan in a louder voice to get his English message across.
The lack of sympathy for the French-speaking players was horrible. It left them at a massive disadvantage as the penalty counts soared.
Please don't bother me with the rubbish that there is always someone in any team who speaks English. Why should, say, Nathan Hines of Perpignan have to make it his business, as well as taking on the Leicester pack, to alert all 14 of his amis to what Owens was on about.
Not once did Owen or Clancy, or Lewis in Paris, actually appear to hold up play for just a little longer to make absolutely sure that the Frenchmen knew what was happening. It speaks volumes for discipline too, because all three French teams could easily have gone up in smoke.
There is an answer. They should redress the balance by appointing French referees to all matches involving French clubs in Europe. French referees are far less lazy than their British and Irish counterparts in speaking different languages anyway, but it is high time that French clubs regained some ground. A fine referee such as England's Rob Debney has been busy learning French and Italian. God bless him.
Speaking louder to foreigners is not preventative refereeing. It is downright patronising. If refereeing bosses cannot find referees to speak the languages of both teams involved, well they should demand that every referee officiates in total silence.
Sean and Scotland. A forward gear?
What a marvellous game we saw at the Wreck last week. Lovely sunny day, packed crowd (and many of them could actually see some of the pitch). Bath eventually held out, in a splendid and dramatic match, against a rather nifty Glasgow.
Glasgow lost, of course. They always do, don't they? People keep predicting the imminent rise of one or both of the Scotland pro teams but it never happens. I know that I am usually one of the first to point out the cavernous gap between the reality and the fond hopes.
But I wonder. I just wonder. Nothing could be better than for Scotland to start reclaiming some of its lost hinterland of fans and fuss and fury. In many ways, and despite their lack of hard noses, I felt Glasgow were a delight last Sunday. I'd pay to watch them, frankly.
Thom Evans scored a devastating hat-trick. Max, his brother, looked a handful in the midfield. Mrs Evans senior clearly has done the state some service. John Barclay on the flank looked like a player and a half. We can even get even more dangerously premature if we wish, and laud the cheek of Ruaridh Jackson, the fly half playing his first game.
Frankly, Sean Lineen, the Glasgow coach, has always impressed me. He was one of the first Kilted Kiwis, but he stayed loyal to Scotland, instead of buzzing off home whenever he was dropped or the electricity bill grew too large. He and Scott Hastings were always marvellous in the midfield in their years in harness.
He still impresses me, and is quite obviously going to be the next coach of Scotland. Let's wish him and his men well. Let's hope they keep a bright fly half, instead of reverting to the Dan Parks hoof. The Evans brothers may just have been scuttling Glasgow and Scotland on towards better times. I liked the look of them, and my god, it's about time.
Fitzy? Surely not
A strange sight from the Royal County of Berkshire. "I know you won't believe this", my pals keep telling me, "but I saw a dead ringer for Sean Fitzpatrick walking by Windsor Castle the other day. Spitting image, he was.'"
I get further reports - "Hey, saw Sean Fitz's double today, running round the Eton Collage Rowing course.'" Hilarious, as if a bloke like him is ever going to be seen round a poncey place like Eton!
Well they aren't doubles. Our Sean's been gliding round the Home Counties now for some years. The hardest man who ever played, the scowling conscience of the All Blacks, the scourge of all things English, the man who typified Kiwi rugby in his era as did Colin Meads in his - he has become an English country gent.
You see him and Bronny, the missus, jogging round the rowing lake, or wandering regal Windsor or the leafy Home Park. He speaks well on television with real insight and he is almost not frightening. I swear he's even got a rather telling, English, semi-foppish country gentleman's haircut. For God's sake Fitzy, someone is going to give you a cravat for Christmas.
And do you know what? There I am scratching out a living in our corner of Berkshire, with the odd trip to Pizzaland. And one day I wander past the Fat Duck, Heston Blumenthal's stunning place in Bray, with the 20-course menu and the snail porridge and bacon and egg ice cream and who's in there, as if he owns the place (and he may well!). You've guessed it!
How to top it? The presidency of the RFU? A stewardship at Henley? The Privy Council? Maybe he's not that fierce any more. Maybe he never was. Might avoid the rowing lake with the dog for a week or two though, unless I'm on a bike.
>>>>>HERO OF THE WEEK<<<<<
Thom Evans (Glasgow Warriors)
To play wing for the Warriors is hardly to be over-burdened with opportunity, you feel. So what a wonderful effort by young Evans, formerly of Maidenhead and Wasps (their loss), in scoring a searing, marvellous hat-trick for his men against Bath on Sunday. He looked rapid, but he also looked measured and in control. Let's not get too excited. Yet.
>>>>>LION WATCH<<<<<
Josh Lewsey, Wasps
As from today, he cannot use the international stage to parade his talents but that could even improve his chances of making the tour he craves - to South Africa with the Lions. The size of the party will be relatively small, Lewsey can play with rare brilliance right across the three-quarter line and at full back, and the Lions could yet give this gifted man the platform that England so misguidedly refused him.
>>>>> LIST OF THE WEEK <<<<<
One list that needs frequently updating - sometimes on a weekly basis. Rugby League legends who were going to take Union by storm but have had all the impact of a wet lettuce. Here are the latest non-signings.
1. Mark Gasnier
The great Aussie RL giant horrified a nation by departing for Paris and Stade Francais and against Quins last Saturday, he wrecked every Stade move whenever he got the ball. He was a kingpin of the Quins defence.
2. Shontayne Hape
No sign of our man all season as Bath battle on playing fine rugby in his absence. Look for a bold appearance now and again as the fourth back replacement for the easy games.
3. Ryan Cross
Made the Wallaby team so that it looked like they were getting a return on their investment. Though some pace and handing and passing and running ability would have been nice.
The Stephen Jones Debate
ENGLAND
Johnson is sticking with his choice of captain. One of the most glaring errors during England's recent autumn international fiasco was the complete lack of any inspired leadership on the field. Borthwick wouldn't even make the team on player ability. God help us next year! B I Jones, Beijing
SJ: Martin came up with a long list of talents which Steve has but few of them seemed to relate to that period of the week when the match starts. It is time for someone else, and I was really amazed at hints that Borthwick is going to stay.
The only way England will ever be able to become a force in international rugby consistently over many years is by getting rid of their reliance on overseas players in their domestic competition. Same in cricket and in football. Scott, Sydney
SJ: Scott, quite ironic, as your chaps have suddenly decided to allow in the dreaded foreigners for the first time. I am afraid that I have never felt that the overseas player issue has any relevance whatsoever to the strength of the national team in rugby, anywhere.
It is now clear that Martin Johnson has absolutely no credentials as an international rugby coach and that Brian Ashton should never have got the sack. There are too many English forwards who are past their sell-by date as well. It is not looking good for England, who will have very few British Lions in the summer at the current rate of progress. Keith Price, Luton
SJ: The list of White Lions is a little thin at the moment but I expect more to come though provided England get their selection right, Keith.
The ABs have been settled since year 0; we need to get to same state of constant evolution, gradually bringing in one or two players, continually winning, rather than 'revolution and hope'. Martin Johnson has to be given time to get to that state which we will then keep ad-infinitum (hopefully!). Jon, Sandwich, England
SJ: Jon, you are arguing against yourself. Yes, the All Blacks bring in one or two into a strong squad. England bring in about 22 into a weak squad, then moan that the team is young and needs time. You were going so well, too!
It's all very well you saying "the future is now" but who would you pick for England that wasn't playing in the final autumn Test? Our best players were out there, bar one or two arguable selections. There is nobody else. Talking of gym monkeys, I am not convinced by Tom Rees at No 7. JPM, Boston, MA
SJ: Ready? Those who weren't there for the New Zealand game? Lewsey, Hipkiss, Barkley. Tindall, Cipriani, Ellis, Sheridan, Hartley, White, Shaw, Moody. Enough for you?
Stop whining and count your blessings. The English football team has been a work in progress since 1966. duddles, Sydney, Oz
SJ: Yes and the latest to beg a long-suffering set of fans for "time and patience" is that Italian who looks like Brains from Thunderbirds.
Sadly the choice should have been Jake White with MJ working in the coaching team. JW worked with SARFU and anybody who can do that would manage England - no trouble. John, Melbourne, Oz
SJ: That's a good point John - if you can operate in that Vipers' Nest! Apparently, SARFU is pretty bad too!
Rob Andrew was always the politically correct choice, but the absolute wrong choice for winning rugby. He managed to make mediocrity into an art form at Newcastle and had a playing reputation of being a safe right boot. So how can we expect anything more than underachievement at a national level? Miles, Georgetown
SJ: Hey, Rolling Maul, is spreading its wings. I feel that Rob did well in establishing the Falcons, Miles, but otherwise I share your view about a lack of world-class drive and vision.
As long as you are preoccupied by the haka you'll never beat us. You are using it as a cover for a woefully inadequate team. We don't care what you think of the haka. It's ours and whats more we have a winning team. (Don't go on about the RWC. That's another red herring.) Bill Brocklebank, Cambridge, New Zealand
SJ: Of course not, though it is rather a long time since you caught a red herring. I feel you may be getting things around the wrong way, Bill. You are preoccupied with the haka, the rest of the world ranks it alongside morris dancing.
You ask a lot of questions, SJ. How about this one: when are they going to ask Sir Clive Woodward to come back as top man? He would be so much more effective than Rob Andrew. In fact, my 91-year-old gran would be more effective than Rob Andrew and she can't even spell "rugby". Nobby Clark, Perth, the Scottish one
SJ: Nobby, be fair, I have asked that one a few times over the years. Sir C should never have gone, they should never have let him, he would never have stood for this shambles. And what other Perths are there? I love your one.
ELVS
Why has nobody mentioned that the Southern Hemisphere teams have had several months to get used to the new ELVs? England have only had four games under the new rules. It took the premiership teams 6 or 7 games to get used to the new laws. Rod, Oadby, UK
SJ: Phew, Rod. You mean that they are used to them now?
WALES
Wales are the only NH team competitive with SH teams at the breakdown. The result was three close games with SH teams and one win. Wales are the only home nation team aiming to lift their game-plan, technique, and intensity above that of club rugby. They are a shoe-in for the 6 nations. George Kuru, Jakarta, Indonesia
SJ: George, yes, they were the best of the autumn, they did play with terrific intensity. Very exciting. It does seem that it's the kind of game that a lot can go wrong with, but that's exciting too. I suppose the away game in France looms as a key and that roof is becoming ever more influential because at home, they will always have a dry ball to suit them.
LIONS
The Lions have literally weeks to prepare - home sides have had years together. In rugby more than any other sport, the kind of mental connection you have with your team-mates is probably more important than individual talent. Look at Ospreys/Wales for evidence. Edward Smith, Ely, UK
SJ: That's a great point, Ed. Though the debate as to whether longer together makes a Test team better, rages still.
I would love to see a Tri-Nations team do a 6 Nations tour. Imagine the best players from Aus, NZ and RSA in one team with a couple of weeks' prep time. Then we would see some good games. Maybe offer it in the year after a Lions series. Lee, Christchurch
SJ: Bloody hell, Lee! Give us a break. At present the three Tri Nations teams are too good for us on their own. I wouldn't fancy taking on a team with Nonu and Mortlock in the middle and which had McCaw and Smith and Burger. You'd need six refs for a start. Giteau might not even get in. How is the great city down there by the way? I know you'll think I am making fun but is there a better urban park anywhere in the world than dear old Hagley? Love that place.
Your obsession with the Lions is over the top. The best from England, Wales, Scotland and Ireland versus the best of a single, much smaller nation, yet it is heresy to criticise these matches. When can a combined Tri-Nations & Pacific Nations team have a crack at England? Pablo, Edinburgh, UK
SJ: Pablo, what obsession? I am reflecting the incredible interest in the whole concept and in the 2009 tour to South Africa in particular.
Eng 2003, 20 points better than Aus 1999? That's rubbish. England would have struggled to score a try (against possibly the best defence ever), the forwards would have had a mighty battle and man for man the '99 Wallaby backs were simply a different class. Silly comment SJ. Andrew, Canberra
SJ: You may be right about those Aussie backs, Andrew, but as that team were so boring and never used them, we'll never know.
The best rugby book I have read records all of the AB' s losses. It is also the shortest ... it only has three pages. (Tongue firmly in Kiwi cheek.) Actually, the greatest rugby book of all time was the book "Endless Winter" circa 1993, written by none other than SJ. Fair play boyo!! John, Aspen, USA
SJ: Ah, at last, a true literary giant assessing the really great books. Many fans were distraught that I decided to leave all my own books out of the All Time Top 20 list.
This area of the e-mail is reserved for your views and boos and where the former Sports Writer of the Year responds to your arguments. Email him at rollingmaul@thetimes.co.uk
and he'll agree, disagree, add some insight or come back firing...
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